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Be69chevy
18 Posts |
 Posted - 06/11/2018 : 20:19:42
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| Just finished 11u season on an average AA team batting at the bottom of the line up. Is the parent supposed to be the dream crusher or does the kid figure it out or just finally can’t make a team? He says he likes it.....but when do I get my weekends back? |
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Browncat1
19 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 00:03:14
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| There are many factors to assess when making this decision. What led you to travel ball to begin with? How much does he love the game? How hard is he willing to work to get better? What are his strengths weaknesses and overall athletic ability? What level of coaching has he been exposed to? How coachable is he? I'm going through the same thing with one of mine right now. Every situation is different but an honest discussion with your son is warranted. How self aware is he? Mine is young and small for his age group but is athletic, works hard, has improved and never has once complained about going to practice. He understands there are kids who are better on his team but he is happy with the kids and his current role. He wants to tryout again and knows there is a chance he won't make the current team. He has agreed to find a lesser team with good coaching and families and to keep working if he doesn't make the team again. If that situation is not out there we will go back to rec and build his confidence and try to improve. I know a kid who was the best on the team age 9 and 10, didn't get better at 11 and 12, went back to rec at 13 and was the best player on his freshman team at 14. Every situation is different, be honest with him and in your assessment and figure out what is best for him and you due to the time and money investment. |
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Crazyforbball
391 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 00:45:57
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| At 11U he hasn't gone through puberty yet..a LOT can change in baseball! If he's enjoying himself, and has no problem being at the bottom of the order on a AA team, so what? I wouldn't be paying a fortune to play AA, but there are plenty of reasonably priced teams. Are you planning on going to Cooperstown? It's truly the experience of a lifetime at 12U and MOST of the teams are not super competitive. Finally, a kid who loves the sport and sticks with it may surprise you in a couple of years. Worst case scenario at least let him play rec ball if it's cutting into the budget and doesn't seem worth it. |
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corn dawgie dawg
47 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 08:55:55
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well I'm sure the elitists on this board will say give it up if he can't potentially be a D1 prospect. If the kid enjoys it let him grind it out at whatever level he can have some success at and things may turn around for him at some point. If he enjoys it, let him do it. Now if the schedule interferes with family life then I'd find a team who has a more lax schedule to suit your needs and still allow him to participate.
Or, play little league. There's some really fun little league programs out there that are pretty competitive and that frees up the weekends. Nobody says travel ball is the only way to do it. |
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CaCO3Girl
1989 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 09:02:18
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| Do you know how many kids were duds at 11 and studs at 17??? TONS! Puberty is a magical and wondrous thing. If he loves the game let him play, don't be THAT dad. 12u is Cooperstown, it's amazing! Find your passion for the game, and don't give up on his passion until he's done. There will ALWAYS be a team he can make. Maybe you need to shake it up and change teams? Maybe he needs a batting lesson??? The dream certainly doesn't end at 11u. |
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KentMurphy
96 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 11:38:42
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quote:
Originally posted by Be69chevy
Just finished 11u season on an average AA team batting at the bottom of the line up. Is the parent supposed to be the dream crusher or does the kid figure it out or just finally can’t make a team? He says he likes it.....but when do I get my weekends back?
There's a BIG difference between "he likes it", and him being "passionate" about it. To me, if he "likes" baseball, rec ball is far less of a commitment (giving at least most of your weekend back), and far less expensive. I have two sons... One "likes" it, and we play rec, with some all-stars. But he isn't 100% committed to it. Doesn't live and breathe it. My other, is ALL about it. Can't get enough. Self disciplined about practicing, would practice every day he doesn't have games, and goes through withdrawals on off weekends. Big difference.
As a parent, you have to be realistic, and it sounds like you are, but ask yourself some tough questions. 1- WHY? Why are we doing travel, at any level (vs. rec), but especially continuing at AA when he's near the bottom? 2- WHAT? What made us decide to jump to travel from rec? Friends? Rec teammates? Keeping up with certain families/friends? Never a wrong answer here, but be honest with yourself. Maybe it was for friends, but since their son blossomed quicker than yours and is having more success. Nothing wrong with that. 3- WOULD IT? Would it hurt to drop back down to rec for a year or two (yes you risk missing Cooperstown, but some rec programs send their all-star teams), so he can just "have fun", enjoy some success, and re-light his fire (re: "passion") for the game?
Those are questions you have to ask yourself, and potentially him... His dream, is HIS (or it should be-- not YOURS). As a parent, your responsibility is to provide the opportunity. It's his responsibility to accept or decline the opportunity. Afterall, you're not going to the plate each time, he is... |
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Critical Mass
277 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 15:30:32
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I had a conversation with mine at 13U about whether or not he still wanted to play. It was mid season and i believe we were on 54/80 fields. He had always been a top of the order kid, middle infielder who could hit and bunt for a hit or do the little things. i bought him the net to hit into, the bryce harper hit away and lots of other stuff that he could use at will in the 3rd car garage. He wasnt practicing to the level i thought he should, considering he wasnt getting better.
Although i told him if he quit (playing since 4 and travel since 7) he would have to finish the season and then would play or do something moving forward and not be subjected to idle time. I told him to take a few days and think long and hard about it.
My main point to him was that i did not want him playing for me, i did not care if he quit if thats what he wanted to do. DO NOT PLAY FOR ME and that I LOVED HIM!!!
He decided to stick it out. He struggled into 14U hitting and lost his spot on the INF and began to chances to pitch. Thats when everything changed. He ended up playing with the same group of boys from 15-18 and got a scholarship to pitch in college.
A week ago he was drafted and will chase his dream, i would have told you that you were lying years ago had you told me this would happen. He did it all and worked harder than i could have imagined and now gets to play baseball at the next level.
I hope this helps, every kid is different and most won't get drafted but mine wasn't the biggest, best or special for a long time and ended up playing Power 5 college ball and get drafted. |
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Crazyforbball
391 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 18:01:13
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| Great story Critical Mass! Moral of the story...don't give up on your boy until he's ready to give up on himself, and support him either way. Baseball overall is like hitting, it's so fluid..ups and downs, highs and lows, slumps and record years. You bring up an important point though sort of aside from the original topic...play where he will develop and get the most opportunity...don't play where you are pigeon holed. Case in point..if your pre-puberty kid is a great MI but never gets to pitch because no one can fill the hole, keep looking....down the road when he grows pitching may be his thing...unless it's been 4 years since he got to try, or play OF or 3B. And now Critical Mass..enjoy the ride and keep the dream alive for yet the next level! |
Edited by - Crazyforbball on 06/12/2018 21:42:54 |
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MAHER
31 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2018 : 22:21:13
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| Critical Mass, love the story! Thank you for sharing! |
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Punishers
688 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2018 : 01:25:40
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| If he enjoys it and it doesn't affect you financially I say let him keep playing. Puberty does change things as kids grow at different rates. I've seen 11u studs peak out at 11u and quit when they don't have the success they once had. The talent and skill starts to even out around 13u. That's when the drop off usually happens when they start seeing 3 breaking balls in a row for a strikeout. He has a few years to grow so let him enjoy himself. I wish my kid would give it up so I can get my weekends back, secretly hoping they loose 1st round bracket play, but he is a competitor and loves the sport. That's why we train and I'm at every game, even though i'm checking out older teams play and cruse back when he pitches or at bat.. I don't really love the game that much, cause I know how hard it is, but I love him. Still give it some time, he may find his wheels before he turns 17. That's when it really matters anyway. |
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Kengen1000
1 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2018 : 09:17:23
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| Echo all the statements above....11 is extraordinarily young. If he loves playing and working hard let him continue and support him. |
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2018 : 19:14:32
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I'm a little late, but I want to second others who say it is way too early to call it quits, especially if your son likes playing! Some of the boys my son played with at 11 who were in the bottom half of the line up or who were lousy pitchers are now on top teams and making valuable contributions. Some of that was puberty, but a lot of that was hard work and persistence on the part of the kid.
I don't think baseball has to be his absolute passion at 11 either. If he's still having fun and is willing to keep working at getting better, stay out of his way! |
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BaseballDad34
8 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2018 : 22:12:03
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| If the budget allows for it and the kid really enjoys it, I would encourage you to keep him in it. There are far too many lessons to be learned from the game that will help him beyond baseball. Taking the focus off the performance and onto the important lessons like working hard, hustling, being a good teammate, winning and losing like a winner, etc. can help you get more value out of the experience. You may be doing that, but it’s something I have to remind myself of periodically. |
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Vandy
36 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2018 : 23:40:42
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"He says he likes it.....but when do I get my weekends back?"
Hmmm. I can't help myself on this one. First of all, there is some very good advice here. My response is based on the quote above and four days without any reply from the OP. Sounds like he may not have received the response he was hoping to hear.
It's pretty early in life to be ruling out whatever dreams your son may or may not have. Your statement appears to suggest Dad may not be enjoying himself to the expected level. Does it bother you that he is batting in that slot? Does it matter to him? If he is batting towards the bottom of the order, have you asked him if he wanted to get better? Offered to go down to the park and take some BP? There is not an outstanding 12u player around that has not had a LOT of home practice time. My Weekends? no comment. If he wants to play why not let him. He is likely forming some of the best friendships he'll have in life. Does he love the game? Like it? If so, by all means please let him continue to play at some level as long as he enjoys HIMSELF. I have a son who is playing at a pretty high level, on a pretty high level team. He is still the kid that just loves to hang with his BB buddies who are now scattered around the country. Don't place undue pressure on an 11 year old kid that is not as good as you would like him to be. If there is one thing I disdain about travel baseball it's the notion that pre puberty kids need to be at one level or another to justify playing baseball. Thank god for A AA, etc levels of play and the kids who love playing baseball at some level. Suck it up and let the kid have some fun. He'll be gone before you know it. By the way, if you are finished playing BB in the first week of June, you've got a lot of summer left to spend with your son doing other activities. I haven't had a vacation without baseball involved in 7 years... Not complaining, just sayin'. |
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NF1974
62 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2018 : 15:26:28
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Great discussion and very good comments. I especially loved the story from Critical mass.
The answer of course is that you never crush his/her dream. You always support them in their pursuit and eventually they will figure it out. I just finished by sons last season of D3 baseball and most of the 7 graduating seniors were balling in the dugout when their last game was done.. These boys love it or they would not work so hard and give so much of their life to it. I was crying as well.
As they get older and see others get better, they will begin to realize that they are good but not that good. Let them figure this out. I always told my son that you can do both, get a good education and play baseball and go as far as each one will take you.
At age 11 you have no clue of your sons potential. My advice is to enjoy the process with him. Cooperstown is awesome. My graduating college senior is through playing ball and will now move on to his job and I would not trade the ride that he and I had for anything. |
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GABombersMillCreek
8 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2018 : 14:15:29
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| It's a *game*...presumably played because it's fun and something a kid enjoys. If he's enjoying it, keep playing. Too many get caught up in the "dream" and fail to enjoy the present. There's nothing to chase - enjoy now. |
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Bravemom
204 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2018 : 22:23:38
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It sounds like you rather do something else on the weekends and using your son supposed average skill to justify it.
Some kids who were studs at 11 are duds at 14, and those that were small at 11 hit puberty and now are studs at 14. You never know!
Let the kid play. They are young for such a short time Before you know it they are driving themselves to games and you can spend the rest of your life enjoying your weekends. |
Edited by - Bravemom on 06/20/2018 22:27:16 |
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ohand2
22 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2018 : 10:33:02
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| 18... yep 18 that's when it ended for my son about 2 weeks ago, He had accepted a full ride to a very good JUCO, had 3 "preferred" walk-on offers from good D1's, including 1 from ACC, and quite a few D2 and D3 offers. 1 week before orientation he tells me he's done. He has lost the drive. WOW!!! he had been playing travel ball since he was 12, between tournaments and camps we covered a large part of the Southeast and East Coast and I think therein lies the problem. I believe he is just burnt out.. and wants to do other things, and it's hard to argue with that. I believe he realizes that he didn't love to play baseball anymore and why play if you don't love it... there again, tough to argue, anyway, my advice is to enjoy every minute you have with your son on that field and diversify a bit, do other things, I would suggest playing other sports or at least step away from the game for a few months over the winter and keep the expectations in check.. he said something to me last year that I really never thought too much about until all this happened.. He said "No expectations, no disappointments" and before anyone asks.. No, I'm not one of those over-bearing fathers, I am very hands-off and have always watched from a distance. Good Luck to everyone and again... enjoy your time together.. Cheers. |
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bama21
278 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2018 : 12:04:12
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My oldest son quit playing too, now he regrets it and now it's too late to go back. Right decision or wrong decision, nobody will ever know, but there is one thing that is for certain, at some point he will doubt that decision and wonder what could have been.
As far as the fun thing, sure at the younger ages, it should be about having fun. But at some point, maybe 16 or 17, it becomes more, it has to; especially, if you have a chance to continue beyond high school. I'm not saying you can't have fun, but your objectives have to be far more reaching than just the pursuit of "fun".
I say enjoy the ride as long as you can(and have fun); eventually, it will end for everyone. What's the worst thing that can happen, you get part of your college paid for. |
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NF1974
62 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2018 : 13:13:49
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| Thanks for sharing ohand2. The passions do change and he has to love it to play in college. It sounds as if you all had a great ride and now your son is ready to move on to other pursuits.Your story also reminds me that when our sons leaves the game, it leaves a void for us as well. |
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Bombernation
51 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2018 : 09:52:01
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| My 14U took Spring off and focused solely on getting stronger. The time away from the game put a spotlight on how much of a commitment it had been since travel starting at 10U. Sleeping in every weekend started looking way more attractive than up at 5:45 a.m. on a Sunday. Then the talk went to “glad I’m not doing it anymore”. We clammed up about it. Will see how it goes but it may be over. |
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bama21
278 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2018 : 12:10:57
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Travel ball is definitely a commitment (for the player and parents), it is expensive, time consuming, and not to mention the enormous pressure that is put on these kids. And it only gets worse as you get older, some games i.e. Jupiter and showcases i.e. PG National, there will be hundreds of scouts watching with their radar guns in hand.
For the one's that handle it, it can be very rewarding. |
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CaCO3Girl
1989 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2018 : 12:14:40
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| Guys and gals, he hasn't been back since he posted. |
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At what age does the dream end?
