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jodiwilson
4 Posts |
 Posted - 03/28/2014 : 09:45:32
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| Hello everyone, I am a new mom to travel ball. I am having some difficulties on what's best for my son. He is 11 and joined his first travel team in Oct. I feel like we are a little behind the game here. We we're lucky to have joined a very good team with 7 of the players that have been together since the age of 6. At the time we thought we were very lucky because my son would be pushed and would learn so much. Of course everything started out great. Great instruction, coaches being positive and tons of playing time. Which I didn't really expect considering there was a core group already in place. In the last few weeks we've discovered my son is being demonstrated as someone who "can't" play baseball. So he is virtually sitting on the bench the entire time. We are really confused to what could have happened all of a sudden and where we go from here??? Talking with the coaches won't help.. Already had another "new" parent do that over something else and her son is now sitting. What should we do? Try to stick it out and hope things get better and work themselves out or just try to move on? I just don't want the entire season to go by and he gets nothing from this. We already feel he's entered the world of "travel " later than most kids do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. |
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SoxIn7
42 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2014 : 10:15:14
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Hi Jodi,
I saw your post an thought I would throw my 2 cents in, from a dad's point of view. My approach with my son is you play based on your performance at practice and the chances you get in a game. Perform to play. I also have trie to tach him that you honor your commitments.
However, at no point is it ok to talk to a kid in a derogatory way. A child's sef-confidence is way more important than a game. I would have a conversation with the coach. I would address the comments that are directed towards your son, but I wouldnt ask why he gets no playing time. I may ask what two or three specific things that they would like me, as a parent, to focus on with my child to help improve his skill set.
If the coach doesn't fix the comments towards my son, I would not subject him to it. If you choose to stay, evaluate your options for 12U. Find a team that has both good coaching and a good opportunity to play and get reps. Focus less on level of play and wins vs. losses.
Just my thoughts...hope it helps! |
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jodiwilson
4 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2014 : 14:51:33
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Hi soxin7,
Thank you for your reply. I am struggling with the manner of which he's being spoken to. It's just not him, it's the entire team. My son of course hasn't said anything about any of this to me. He's just so happy to be on the team. Not sure he even realizes what I see. He seems to do really well at practice. Always pays attention and does what's asked of him. He started the pre season and season as the starting third baseman and has pitched more than any other pitcher we have on the team. Then all of a sudden we show up one weekend and he sat and has been sitting ever since. I've hesitated saying anything to the coaches at all. I believe they would just tell me what I want to hear. But I agree with you in asking what we need to work on. Maybe that will give me insight to what could of happened. I guess the million dollar question is do we stay??? We will def be looking for a new team after this season. If we make it that long. Lol
Thank you so much for your advice.
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bigroc19
158 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2014 : 09:31:16
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Jodi,
I agree with SoxIn. Just a little advice..I would ask for a meeting with the coaches after a practice. Address what your concerns are and that you want the best situation for your son. if your son is working hard at practice and giving it his all..there is no way he should be sitting on the bench..it is suppose to be fun and he needs to be part of that..My son has been playing travel from age 6 and all of his teams have always rotated and batted all players..even when a kid should be sitting he gets the same amount of playing time. Trust me Jodi there are plenty of teams out there and if this team doesnt work out for you dont throw in the towel. search for a good fit for your son and keep him around good positive coaches and Jodi to be honest with you...when you are paying dues and fees they need to be give him his opportunities to play. If you stay quiet they will continue to look over him. |
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seminole tony
147 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2014 : 15:04:29
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Is he the best third baseman? One of the best pitchers? If yes to either, go shopping for a new team after meeting with the coach. If he's not, this is not rec ball and where everybody gets to play.
Field the best players to win. Field those children whom practice hard and are the best at their positions.
Every parent looks at their children thru rose colored glasses. Is he really the best athlete? Best attitude? Makes all the practices? Takes criticism constructively?
Sounds harsh but you started your post saying your son just started travel ball at 11 years old. That's 4 years later then alot of kids. A talented athlete can overcome that lapse but you're stepping on to a team with as you said "7 core players" already. Yes, there is "Daddy Ball" and favorites that coaches will pick. Most coaches don't get paid and don't have to answer to anyone. That is why investigating teams before shelling out the money is oh so important. Addressing the needs of a team with the coach before committing. Did they need your son as a third baseman or need YOUR money to sign up for one more tournament.
Just like finding the proper school or college. You don't just sign up to the first one who calls or emails. Do your homework.
Welcome to the wonderful/horrible life of travel baseball.
When you find that perfect fit, you, your son and the whole family will discover a whole new loving group that you will have great memories forever to cherish. |
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jodiwilson
4 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2014 : 20:54:48
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Thanks to everyone for your advice.
I do understand where you are coming from. I am not one of those parents who thinks their child is the best at what he does. I am the first one to chew him out for senseless mistakes he may make.
Yes we did get involved with travel a little late. Our park didn't do travel til age 10 and never thought about taking him elsewhere to play. Totally my fault. Only after a coach approached us and asked why he wasn't playing travel we even realized we had held him back.
I do have older children and know what goes into recruiting and choosing colleges and so forth. I have a son at Harvard that plays football and a daughter that played soccer at Clemson. So I'm not one of those parents who is clueless.
I just honestly didn't realize my younger one had what it took for travel baseball until another coach pointed it out.
But to answer some of your questions.. He was chosen for this team for third base and to pitch. Actually after the tryouts were done the coach had a meeting with all the parents and said he would be calling everyone within a few days. He asked us to stay behind and said he wanted my son. He loved his attitude, his enthusiasm, was very coach able, loved his velocity, that he wanted him as the third baseman as well as a pitcher and he would be a great asset to the team.
However since my post we've played 6 games. He sat for the first 4 and played in the last two. He hit 3 home runs and pitched amazing. Only allowing 2 runs (due to fielding errors not by him) in the 4 innings he pitched. So he is pulling his weight on this team when he is allowed to play. Do I think he is the best kid on the team. Absolutely not. He needs work and things he needs to improve on. But I would say he's in the top 6 on this team. As far as pitching he's in the top 3.. So I am really confused. I guess the only logically thing to do is speak with them and shop around for another team. Just not sure if he started playing tomorrow and never sat again I could get past some of the things that has been said to him.
I do want to thank everyone for your reply and advice. It has made me realize we are in the wrong place.
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turntwo
955 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2014 : 21:01:25
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Jodi-
I'll add to what's been said... Sometimes head coaches truly want what's best for the team, and in their (a) utopia they would set the team as they deem fit... BUT, when the head coach gets pressure from assistant coaches and those tenured parents (friends) he has two choices to make. Keep his assistants and friends (7) happy, or the new comer. It's sad that daddy-ball, loyalty, or allegiances trump some coaches abilities to field the most competitive (best?) team. |
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CaCO3Girl
1989 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2014 : 16:02:59
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Jodi-
Not sure if you have really resolved this, but I wanted to throw my 2 cents in as well. We are in our third year of travel ball and I'm not exactly a shy person, so when things aren't going the way I think they should go I ask why. Are you asking why? Why is my kid sitting more than any other kid, what is your reasoning for how calling a child dumb (just an example) will improve their performance.
The golden rule of travel ball is "Coaches Decision"...they have ALL final decisions, and they should! But any coach worth anything will have no problem going through their reasoning with you on WHY they chose to do what they are doing.
Don't attack them, don't tell them they are doing something wrong, simply ask WHY? If the answers you get don't satisfy you then yes move on, but they might know something that you don't. |
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jodiwilson
4 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2014 : 14:08:03
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| Since my last post I have a better understanding to whats going on. I spoke with one of the asst coaches. I felt more comfortable going to him first. He has been very supportive and nice to my son. Always encouraging and has good things to say when the others don't. But turntwo you were correct. My son hasn't been playing because of one of the asst coaches and two sets of parents. He didn't go into detail about the full issues with the asst coach. But the parents he did. My son was the "new" kid and he came in and was taking playing time from another. Which happen to be really good friends with the coaches. That parents approached the head coach and bam my son started sitting. So I'm not really sure what I should do now knowing this information. Any advice how to handle this issue now that I know it's not really my son?? |
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BaseballMom6
233 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2014 : 19:40:04
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| If it were my kid, and I found out this is how playing time is done - based on who is best friends with the coaches - then I would say thanks but no thanks, they can keep their daddy ball. Find a better place for your child to play, where he can develop and get the playing time he earns from his ability. |
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2014 : 08:36:19
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Hi Jodi,
I think knowing what you now know, you should use the rest of this season to start looking for a new team for next fall, but I would not walk away from this team in the middle of the season. You made a commitment to the team, and, barring some sort of abuse, I would finish it out. I would also try to avoid any drama, as coaches talk to each other, and this coach could damage your son's chances of joining another team. Meanwhile, I would focus on practice and, if you can afford it, private instruction to keep your son's skills up and perhaps a couple of baseball camps over the summer. Make sure he's ready for tryout season, which will be here before you know it.
Also, use this time to do as much research as you can on other teams so you can try to avoid this situation next year. If there is a team you're interested in, you might try talking to a parent of a player already on that team to see what they say. You can also watch the coaches during games to see if they are moving players around or locking them into positions, batting all 12, etc. As the season winds down, the teams will start putting feelers out for kids to tryout privately. Also, teams will break up and reform. You want to use your networking skills to put your son's name out there as a player looking for a new team.
I'm sorry this has happened to you and your son. But, I'd tough it out, try to keep as good an attitude as you can, and do everything you can to find your son a better place to land next fall. |
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turntwo
955 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2014 : 10:48:04
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quote:
Originally posted by jodiwilson
But turntwo you were correct. My son hasn't been playing because of one of the asst coaches and two sets of parents. He didn't go into detail about the full issues with the asst coach. But the parents he did. My son was the "new" kid and he came in and was taking playing time from another. Which happen to be really good friends with the coaches. That parents approached the head coach and bam my son started sitting. So I'm not really sure what I should do now knowing this information. Any advice how to handle this issue now that I know it's not really my son??
That's a tough situation Jodi. It's almost too late to do much now (changing), but all I can advise is to support your kiddo, and have him 'sharp', ready, and focused ONCE he gets playing time. It would be hard to argue, if coach's friends' son is 'wetting the bed' at his position, and your son comes in and locks it down and proves himself in the limited opportunities he gets, to not increase his playing time. Your son must remove all 'excuses' the coach may use... Who 'out preforms' who at practice? In games? Maybe the 'private' instruction Newbie BB Mom mentioned isn't a bad idea either. At worst, he gets better one-on-one instruction and makes the coach look bad - when he's out preforming in practice, but sitting the bench in games. |
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turntwo
955 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2014 : 10:58:25
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quote:
Originally posted by Newbie BB Mom
Hi Jodi,
I think knowing what you now know, you should use the rest of this season to start looking for a new team for next fall, but I would not walk away from this team in the middle of the season. You made a commitment to the team, and, barring some sort of abuse, I would finish it out. I would also try to avoid any drama, as coaches talk to each other, and this coach could damage your son's chances of joining another team. Meanwhile, I would focus on practice and, if you can afford it, private instruction to keep your son's skills up and perhaps a couple of baseball camps over the summer. Make sure he's ready for tryout season, which will be here before you know it.
Also, use this time to do as much research as you can on other teams so you can try to avoid this situation next year. If there is a team you're interested in, you might try talking to a parent of a player already on that team to see what they say. You can also watch the coaches during games to see if they are moving players around or locking them into positions, batting all 12, etc. As the season winds down, the teams will start putting feelers out for kids to tryout privately. Also, teams will break up and reform. You want to use your networking skills to put your son's name out there as a player looking for a new team.
I'm sorry this has happened to you and your son. But, I'd tough it out, try to keep as good an attitude as you can, and do everything you can to find your son a better place to land next fall.
^^^ Has some great information in it, such as private instruction, scouting potential teams, watching coaches of other teams, and talking with parents...
My one issue is the bold sentence. Commitment is a two-way street. Did the coach commit to Jodi about her son's potential playing time or position? Did he commit to her about developing the TEAM and ALL the kids? IF the coach broke his commitment, then why should Jodi honor hers? To be the better person? Sure, but at what cost? Her kid doesn't get the opportunity as others who are better friends! Jodi is forced to incur MORE expenses (and time) for private instruction that may not be needed if the coach offered him the same instruction/coaching/opportunity he does others. All in the name of "honoring her commitment"??? According to what may have been said leading up to Jodi's son joining the team, if the coach broke his word/commitment, I wouldn't have a problem doing the same, if I could get my son on another team-- regardless of when it is during the season. But then again, I do not like liars. And if I coach promises me something, or sets an expectation for how he is going to do something, and then does nearly the complete opposite... He falls into the 'breaking his commitment' column first.
Do coaches talk some? Sure. But if Jodi's son has the ability and right attitude, a coach's opinion (or statements) will be taken with a grain of salt from one coach to the next. |
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batter100
11 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2014 : 13:11:43
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Jodi,
my 2 cents ...no child should sit more then 2 innings at that age. They are there to learn and won't learn sitting on a bench. My 11 year old played travel at 9U and they sat him 3 innings a games so he hated baseball and stopped playing until now and is loving it. You made a commitment to the coaches but they did to your son. They are not holding up there end of the deal. I'm sorry but I think it is completely wrong. If it is a discipline issue sit him the whole game but that is not the case. I would do what is best for your child and family. It is a very long season. I have an older son that has been playing travel for 5 years and honestly I have stressed over baseball so much it's not worth it. There are so many teams out there. Hmmmm I wonder if you are on the team my 9 year old was on.
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bfriendly
376 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2015 : 12:53:22
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Hello Jodi,
Just wondering how things turned out. How was this past season? Hopefully/surely better than the last one. It was a sad story and I hope you guys kept things positive as best you could.
Wish you the best.
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Need advice
