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xyzbaseball
27 Posts |
 Posted - 03/15/2011 : 13:46:23
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| When will we ever have parents that just support their kids and the team? It never fails you always have one or two parents that want to coach but they never get a team , they just sit back and tell the coaching staff what they did wrong and how this team or that team does it. If the others are so good, move on. Remember we do this for the kids , not a parent or coaches ego. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2011 : 09:00:49
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| You actually answered your own question. You already have parents that support their kids and the team. Don't let the one or two outweigh what your other 10-12 parents are doing. Those other parents are being supportive. Take the one or two aside and set your rules and expectations of what is allowed from you as a coach and inform thenm that if they can't abide by your rules, then there son is welcome to attend practices and games but they are not. If they can't adhere from that point, ban them from attending. Your problem will be solved. They either won't be there, or they'll leave the team. If you allow their behavior to continue, they will be the cancer that will ruin it for you and the other dozen families. You do have a responsibility in this. Don't let the tail wag the dog. |
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touchemall
145 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2011 : 09:57:59
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| If this site had a "like" button as facebook does, I would click it after reading your post. |
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Heater
74 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2011 : 15:24:20
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quote:
Originally posted by xyzbaseball
Remember we do this for the kids , not a parent or coaches ego.
Not sure this is always the case, unfortunately.
IN_THE_KNOW - PERFECT!!! |
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 03/19/2011 : 12:12:52
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| I personally would always welcome a parents opinion, but there has to be exceptions. As I told our head coach this year, he is the first to know when he makes a mistake. There is no need for parents to tell him what he already knows!! Having said that, I think most teams should have a Tuesday rule, say whatever you need to say but wait until late Monday or Tuesday. The conversation should be one on one and not bring other parents or coaches in. I can't really preach this rule as I know for a fact I haven't always done this. But I think by doing this everyone can voice their opinion and feel better about doing so, and coaches might actually pick up on something they haven't seen. Doesn't always work but I think it works better than ultimatums, especially if it is a kid you can't really afford to lose! |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 03/24/2011 : 08:38:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Spartan4
Having said that, I think most teams should have a Tuesday rule, say whatever you need to say but wait until late Monday or Tuesday.
As mainly a lurker from the Carolina boards, I've appreciated a lot of what I've read on this board, and glad to see you all have the same difficulties/concerns/drama that we do  - but I've liked this most of all. How many Parents complain directly after a game is played, when emotions are still hot? TOO MANY!
I'd offer that same advise to their dealings with their kids - if your son/daughter goes 0-3 and makes 2 stupid errors, don't chew him out on the sideline during the game, or in the car on the way home - wait and let the emotions pass, and then discuss.
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Edited by - ramman999 on 03/24/2011 08:45:54 |
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baseballmom44
5 Posts |
Posted - 03/24/2011 : 08:58:52
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| I agree with this rule and not just with baseball. If you are upset about something alway's wait 24 hours before writing that email and give your self some time to think about things. |
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Steel-Will
278 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2011 : 09:03:00
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quote:
Originally posted by xyzbaseball
When will we ever have parents that just support their kids and the team? It never fails you always have one or two parents that want to coach but they never get a team , they just sit back and tell the coaching staff what they did wrong and how this team or that team does it. If the others are so good, move on. Remember we do this for the kids , not a parent or coaches ego.
XYZ - I could be considered in the category of parent that erks you; albeit, I don't want to coach as I recognize, I don't have the experience in baseball that a coach should have.
However, because I am a parent that points out what the coaching staff consistently does wrong (and if they constantly do things wrong, I'd be pointing it out all the time) does not equate to me NOT supporting the kids or the team. You're correct, "I don't understand".
My support / commitment to my kid and the team is to bring my son to the field as prepared as he can be with the expectation that he does what he is capable of doing, play to win, never give up, be gracious and humble in winning, congratulatory in losing, unafraid of hard work, and always seeking to get better.
But I will speak up in these circumstances and more:
if the kid with the highest batting average by my calculation (definitely top 3) is batting LAST
runners are constantly making the 1st out of the inning at 3rd, because of coaching instruction
bases loaded-2 outs-down by 4- # 4 hitter at the plate-3rd base coach sends kid on pass ball out at the plate-GAME OVER
1st pitch swinging & batter fouls ball off and runners have to return to 1st 15 times a game
unnecessary force outs at 2nd when runner could have stole 2nd & next batter gets base hit which means runner that should have been on 2nd could have scored
pitching coach calling fastball after fastball when batters obviously have the pitcher timed up
same kids making the same errors “ad nauseam” and coach leave kids in same position
etc, etc, etc, I could go on.
I have seen / been victim to all these BAD coaching actions.
My point being, as a youth sports coach, your job is to be well versed in the best practices of the game, capable of translating these practices to the kids, and willing and able to deal with all kinds of parental concerns: You can't coach the kids without the parents!
This is a matter of communication and its not always that one way is inherently better than another; the “big-barrel bat” vs. “small-barrel bat” debate or “rotational “vs. “linear” hitting for example, but that you explain your philosophy and why you do things and that you are AWARE of other methods and approaches then parents would be more understanding. But if you chose a course of action, and it constantly doesn't work out, a “real” coach would make an adjustment.
You choose to be a coach and I think you should choose to be the best coach you can be and if you doing things that demonstrate a lack of baseball acumen, maybe you should get out of the business.
Again, I'm not a baseball coach and admit that I don't have the requisite background that a baseball coach should have, but I do know if we're down by 2 late in the game and we have a 3-0 count, that batter BETTER have the take sign and if your batter doesn't, you need to get out of the coaching business and your parents have every right and obligation to tell you how team “so-and-so” does it.!!!! IMHO |
Edited by - Steel-Will on 03/25/2011 17:45:21 |
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4bagger
131 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2011 : 21:47:11
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Steel,
You WOULD irk me as one of my parents.
No need to constantly point out what a coach is doing wrong, in your opinion. You can say what you think but if you constantly repeat it, then you're a problem. The coach heard you the first time and he doesn't agree.
You are right that your commitment is to bring your kid to the field as prepared as possible, and all the other stuff you said, but once he crosses the baselines you need to let the coaches work with him.
If you think that batting average is the only determining factor to spot in the batting order than you need to think again.
If runners are constantly out at 3B then yes, you need to look at why the coach keeps sending the slowest kids. Maybe it's because this slow kid has a high batting average so the coach has him hitting near the top of the order. I would prefer a lower batting average at the top but a faster kid.
Usually sending a kid on a pass ball, at this age level, is the right call in that situation.
Shame on that coach for teaching the kids to swing at a strike! The kids are 10, they tend to foul off balls alot.
I can see you posting that you're upset the coach keeps stealing on the first pitch and your kids keep getting picked off.
Might surprise you but at 10U most pitchers fastballs look exactly like their change ups. No matter what is called. I bet you'd complain if the pitchers change up was telegraphed by changing his mechanics. But hey, at least he would be throwing different speed pitches. (Secret for you- They're 10!)
Alot of times the best coaching technique is to leave a kid in the game to work through his errors and learn how to handle the pressure. But if it happens in multiple games, constantly, then you are right.
I was unaware that as a youth sports coach, for 10 year olds, that it was my job. I thought I did this because I love kids, love the game of baseball and want to help 10 year olds get to the next level as best I can.
The only issue I have with explaining all my coahing techniques and decisions is that out of 12 sets of parents, 6 will agree and 6 won't. ****ed if I do and ****ed if I don't.
Yes, I choose to be a coach. I remake that choice every season. It is not my job, I do not get paid. I do it for the love of children and love of the game. At the age of 10, the "business" IS doing the best we can with what we have to work with. We are not professional athletes who would charge you several thousands a year to get our error free perfection. We are sons, dads, brothers, people who have played the game, a long time ago in most cases, people who read about baseball, watch the game, dissect it, do the best we can free of charge for 10 year olds. If all of us error prone, human coaches, got out of the business then youth baseball would come to a screeching halt.
99% of the time your batter DOES have the take sign on 3-0 but he either missed the sign or just couldn't stop himself from swinging at the giant grapefruit coming his way. HE'S 10! |
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xyzbaseball
27 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2011 : 21:47:48
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| Steel-will , sounds like you need to put your kid on another team. If someone is consistently doing a bad job such as you stated , they probabaly don't need to coach. However I am sure there is another side of the story. Baseball is suppose to be fun and a character builder as well. Unfortunatley you do run across guys that just do not make good deision on the field. Find a place that makes you happy , life is too short to go through it unhappy. |
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Steel-Will
278 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2011 : 07:32:28
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quote:
Originally posted by xyzbaseball
Steel-will , sounds like you need to put your kid on another team. If someone is consistently doing a bad job such as you stated , they probabaly don't need to coach. However I am sure there is another side of the story. Baseball is suppose to be fun and a character builder as well. Unfortunatley you do run across guys that just do not make good deision on the field. Find a place that makes you happy , life is too short to go through it unhappy.
XYZ - I have found a place where my son is learning and the coaching solid. Ironically, it does not take half of a $1400.00 team fee to get it!!!! But it's really about the kids. I recently experienced a marvellously athletic 10yr old (tremendous size, physical strenghth and arm strentch) been with the same coach since 4. The kid has a horrible throwing motion, can't field, could never go to another team because he couldn't make another team. Now his mom wants him to learn and play another position. Sad.
Bottom line, a terrible disservice is being done to too many kids; they're used where they are currenly skilled, but not developed to continue playing.
As a basketball coach I mostly play zone on out of bounds plays under my own basket. Dean Smith played it that way. stops a lot of layups from simple pick and roll plays. A lot of coaches go man; i love it when they do, I score virtually everytime.
There are more effective and less effective strategies in sports and in life; I think a coach/parent should seek them out even if its from an overbearing parent; they could be right.
You're saying their $1800.00 team fee doesn't come with that right; I feel ya. I respectfully disagree. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2011 : 12:41:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
However, because I am a parent that points out what the coaching staff consistently does wrong (and if they constantly do things wrong, I'd be pointing it out all the time) does not equate to me NOT supporting the kids or the team. You're correct, "I don't understand".
But I will speak up in these circumstances and more:
if the kid with the highest batting average by my calculation (definitely top 3) is batting LAST
This is the most misunderstood aspect in youth baseball so I can clarify: batting order is facilitated by function AS WELL AS statistics, since the stats are only as good as the one keeping the book. Every batting order spot has a job to do from the 1 spot to the 9 spot, so remember, it is subjective.
A high batting average can have as much to do with walks as it does with hits. Here's an example:
A kid that goes 1 for 9 in a weekend, but has a shortstop make 3 outstanding plays on sharply hit balls up the middle to rob him for base hits (difference of batting .111 vs.444) vs. a kid that goes 2-5 with 4 walks with 2 weakly hit balls - kid B has a better weekend (.400 ave) if you go purely off statistics, but as a coach, I am more inclined to think kid A hit the ball better and just had tough luck, no?
Does the scorekeeper keep track of errors as hits? Is the batter a contact hitter? Does he run the bases well enough to bat towards the top? All questions that need answers before you can defer strictly to stats
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
runners are constantly making the 1st out of the inning at 3rd, because of coaching instruction
Coaches are not running, it is up to the player and the call - but I agree, you run a player within their capacity - don't always send the slow kid, if this is indeed the case
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
bases loaded-2 outs-down by 4- # 4 hitter at the plate-3rd base coach sends kid on pass ball out at the plate-GAME OVER
Depends on the situation, but a fast runner scores, and a base hit scores 2 more, and puts the tying run possibly on 2nd - I would not lose much sleep on this if it was my call
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
1st pitch swinging & batter fouls ball off and runners have to return to 1st 15 times a game
1st pitch strikes are what we tell our pitchers to make - why wouldn't the batter be up there taking a hack at it? Might be the best pitch he sees in a sequence.
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
unnecessary force outs at 2nd when runner could have stole 2nd & next batter gets base hit which means runner that should have been on 2nd could have scored
Or a double play if the runner leaves and the batter pops the ball up. Once again, situational and subject to interpretation.
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
pitching coach calling fastball after fastball when batters obviously have the pitcher timed up
Covered in another response, but a good change up should look exactly like a fastball leaving the pitchers hand - might also be setting him up and trying to get him to chase - gotta give some credit to the batter as well.
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
same kids making the same errors “ad nauseam” and coach leave kids in same position
Comes with the turf - they are 9 and 10.. gotta give a player a chance to learn. Now, if it goes on all season, you might have a very valid point.I don't know the situation/circumstances or people involved, so I can't comment on this.
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
I have seen / been victim to all these BAD coaching actions.
My point being, as a youth sports coach, your job is to be well versed in the best practices of the game, capable of translating these practices to the kids, and willing and able to deal with all kinds of parental concerns: You can't coach the kids without the parents!
Unfortunately, those of us who volunteer our time to coach also do so in spite of the parents sometimes. We are out there for 12 different kids, where as honestly some parents are only out their for their kid, at least initially. I think tact and communication go hand in hand, and depending on the way a parent approaches will go a long way towards how the "constructive criticism" will be taken.
But also realize, NO ONE subscribes to the same philosophies, and as long as that exists, there will always be conflict and hopefully compromise. No one likes to be told their baby is ugly.
quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Willyour parents have every right and obligation to tell you how team “so-and-so” does it.!!!! IMHO
No one has a "right" to do anything but die and pay taxes!! LOL, but I know what you mean
You only obligation should be getting your son or daughter to the best situation available for them, regularly, on time (15 min early), and having their best interests in mind. Oh, and supporting the team! Telling a coach how someone else does it is ok in context, but it is not your right.
If I was to venture a guess, teams that do it correctly have some history; a wealth of experience and knowledge.
I also would suspect they have player and parent code of conducts signed pre-season, which covers the ground rules for expectations for both for the coaches as well as the families, which hopefully contains behavior clauses because this helps take personal bias out of the situations that will come up during the season. Every decision made during the course of a season will be judged and critiqued, more so when a team is losing games. A team that has 100% happy families and players is rare.
Oh, and the golden rule I was told some time ago: there are only 2 constants in youth baseball - drama and change.. |
Edited by - ramman999 on 03/31/2011 09:02:24 |
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silvercityjon
56 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2011 : 11:11:17
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Oh, and the golden rule I was told some time ago: there are only 2 constants in youth baseball - drama and change..
Truest statement posted on this board this year in my opinion lol!!! |
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Steel-Will
278 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2011 : 15:43:55
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quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
quote:
Originally posted by Spartan4
Having said that, I think most teams should have a Tuesday rule, say whatever you need to say but wait until late Monday or Tuesday.
As mainly a lurker from the Carolina boards,
don't chew him out on the sideline during the game, or in the car on the way home - wait and let the emotions pass, and then discuss.
I understand your concerns here. Question..what's the URL for the Carolina board?
Sometimes, immediate feedback after an error is necessary and most effective. You're right, cooler heads must prevail and you have to know your player / child. My son threw 3 outstanding shut down innings in the WS last year; made several stellar defensive plays from the pitchers mound and put the ball in play hard several times. But with men on 2nd and 3rd, 2 outs down by 1 in last inning, he struck out on a ball WAY, WAY out of the strike zone; worse pitch he swung at all year. That wasn't the time to say anything but great job and we'll get them next time. However, if he fields a ball on the infield, stands straight up and whiffs on the throw, he's going to get direct/immediate feedback; preferably from the coach, but if not, from me that he needs to sit down on his throws.
Yes, some parents are overbearing and virtually, down right intolerable, but I believe with all my heart, a big part of doing a good job coaching is managing the parents; not complaining because they complain. With the plethora of bad coaches that call themselves having a travel-ball team, it's unproductive and oxymoronic to complain about complaining parents.
A good coach is a good communicator. And good communicators take the responsibility of ensuring the message they wanted to communicate has been transmitted. They don't blame the message recipient when the communication fails; they find a way to get their message through. Should a coach take time to explain every little move he makes; no, he shouldn't have too. It's obvious why my 9 hole hitter had a take sign on a 3-0 pitch late in the game, that just sensible, responsible baseball. WE NEED A BASE RUNNER. But if you bunt your 5 hole hitter with 2 strikes and fouls off for strike 3, "Ricky, you got some 'SPLAININ' to do". |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2011 : 10:08:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
I understand your concerns here. Question..what's the URL for the Carolina board?
Sometimes, immediate feedback after an error is necessary and most effective. You're right, cooler heads must prevail and you have to know your player / child. My son threw 3 outstanding shut down innings in the WS last year; made several stellar defensive plays from the pitchers mound and put the ball in play hard several times. But with men on 2nd and 3rd, 2 outs down by 1 in last inning, he struck out on a ball WAY, WAY out of the strike zone; worse pitch he swung at all year. That wasn't the time to say anything but great job and we'll get them next time. However, if he fields a ball on the infield, stands straight up and whiffs on the throw, he's going to get direct/immediate feedback; preferably from the coach, but if not, from me that he needs to sit down on his throws.
Yes, some parents are overbearing and virtually, down right intolerable, but I believe with all my heart, a big part of doing a good job coaching is managing the parents; not complaining because they complain. With the plethora of bad coaches that call themselves having a travel-ball team, it's unproductive and oxymoronic to complain about complaining parents.
A good coach is a good communicator. And good communicators take the responsibility of ensuring the message they wanted to communicate has been transmitted. They don't blame the message recipient when the communication fails; they find a way to get their message through. Should a coach take time to explain every little move he makes; no, he shouldn't have too. It's obvious why my 9 hole hitter had a take sign on a 3-0 pitch late in the game, that just sensible, responsible baseball. WE NEED A BASE RUNNER. But if you bunt your 5 hole hitter with 2 strikes and fouls off for strike 3, "Ricky, you got some 'SPLAININ' to do".
@ Steel -Will - The site is http://www.nctravelbaseball.com/ for the Carolina Board -
Great points, by the way - all of them
Trust me, this is my first spring of not "officially" coaching, and I am wiser for it, but it wont stop me from addressing things I see with my own kids. I started out as the obnoxious parent way back when my oldest first started playing, then after that I became the coach dealing with obnoxious parents, so over time I've grown and I have come to appreciate and understand both sides positions and frustrations - definitely teaches you patience with both dealing with your own kids as looking from different perspectives.
Our current situation is good - I have respect for the coach and do not really offer input or advise unless asked, but if I see something blatantly questionable, I will ask him about it.
But, rather than just tell him he was wrong,I want to see his point first and understand his thought process.
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CenterField
138 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2011 : 18:33:07
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This is a very interesting thread on the balance between parents and coaches. Here are my thoughts on the subject:
The role of the parent is to have the kid to practice on time with all of the necessary equipment. The parent can also provide additional help to their kid by scheduling private lessons to work on areas where they are behind. As the kid gets older, these responsibilities should fall more on the player than the parent.
The role of the coach is to develop the skills of the players in different areas and find the best position(s) on the field for that player. Lets face it, not every kid on the team can play SS, or 1B, or C or outfield. The coach should also take responsibility in making the best lineup and game decision to give their team a chance to win. I think its really tough when the coach is also a parent and thats where its hard to escape the "political" assertions. Keep in mind that most coaches are not getting paid for their time and so I find it hard to be critical in those cases.
If you are not satisfied with the instruction or game decisions that your coach is making, then you should find another team. There are tons of different teams out there at every skill level and you will find one that meets your goals. We have played for a team where every coaches kid played the infield positions, no matter the game score, and other kids were left to develop on their own. We have also played on a team where no coach had a kid on the team and kids played multiple positions throughout the season. There are pros and cons to every type of scenario and you just have to find what works for you. Do not get discouraged and continue to be your kids advocate and you will both be fine!! |
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Steel-Will
278 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2011 : 12:13:43
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quote:
Originally posted by 4bagger
Steel,
You WOULD irk me as one of my parents.
4Bag - Scratch everything I said. I'm, adopting a new approach. Seriously. I going to sit back, watch the game with ambivalence to whatever the coaches do, for what it's worth.
Most coaches do what ever they want regardless, so your right, no need to keep repeating or even voicing an opinion once; it's just one of many opinions.
Consequently, I wouldn't erk you after all. Good luck and thanks for being out there for the boys. I know it can be tough at times complaining parents don't make it any easier. |
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baseballRus
126 Posts |
Posted - 04/16/2011 : 09:23:07
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quote:
Originally posted by Steel-Will
quote:
Originally posted by 4bagger
Steel,
You WOULD irk me as one of my parents.
4Bag - Scratch everything I said. I'm, adopting a new approach. Seriously. I going to sit back, watch the game with ambivalence to whatever the coaches do, for what it's worth.
Most coaches do what ever they want regardless, so your right, no need to keep repeating or even voicing an opinion once; it's just one of many opinions.
Consequently, I wouldn't erk you after all. Good luck and thanks for being out there for the boys. I know it can be tough at times complaining parents don't make it any easier.
There ya go Steel....just sit back and relax. |
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Steel-Will
278 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2011 : 09:04:02
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quote:
There ya go Steel....just sit back and relax.
Brus - Rough weekend but I got through it. After giving up a bracket game in the last inning I can't say that I was relaxed but more like numb !!!!!
The boys had fun....guess that's all that matters. |
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thegoat
29 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2011 : 10:24:52
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| Why don't the parents that complain about coaching start their on team. Because they know all the answers they would be a great coach. It's easy to be a head coach. Go do it yourself. |
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MariettaBaseball
12 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2011 : 13:59:45
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As a former coach and now a parent, I have taken gripes and dished out a few as well. For what it's worth, here are my thoughts.
As a parent, I have multiple responsibilities:
1. I must get my child to practice on time, with equipment and work with him to improve his skills.
2. I must be available to help with practice, scoring, running tournaments, etc. at the coach's discretion.
3. I must maintain positive attitude around all the kids even when coaching, team play, or other situations aren't going well.
4. I must support the coach's decisions when he makes the right decision even to the detriment of my child. This entails explaining it to my child.
5. I must not over-inflate my child's ego by telling him he's the best player on the team.
6. I must praise my childs strengths and encourage him to work on his weaknesses.
7. I must comfort my child after the coach belittles him, benches him, takes his position, or otherwise treats him unfairly. I guess it's never too early to teach young players that "life isn't fair" and that connections and favoritism often prevail over ability. It's a shame, but it is a fact of life.
8. I must confront the coach and try to do so diplomatically when he crosses the line. We're all competitive and emotion is high; a 24 hour wait is best, but at times difficult.
9. And lastly, I must protect my child from verbal and emotional abuse. If that means leaving the team, so be it.
As a coach, you have multiple responsibilities:
1. Show up on time.
2. Run an efficient practice and teach fundamentals
3. Motivate the players and cross-train them.
4. Coach the game well and if you make coaching errors, own up to them.
5. Coach the game well and if a player makes a mistake, council him with respect.
6. Be a coach, not a Dad; match the player to the position. "Daddy ball" only invites problems.
7. Treat your own son as any other player - this applies to favoritism and losing your temper. Another play can leave the team but you have your child for life but your child may hate you for life.
8. Respect players at all times.
9. Respect umpires at all times. If they blow a call, challenge it with respect. If a judgement call, ask for a second opinion then drop it. Don't tell the kids that the umpire "lost" the game. Games aren't lost on just one play!
10. Be a role-model for the kids...Act as though your parents, minister, boss or co-worker were watching...Otherwise, you may find yourself on You Tube!
11. Communicate with the parents! If a player needs extra work in an area, tell the parent. If you're moving a player from his normal position, tell them why. If you're benching the player more often than usual, tell them why. If you can't defend your decision, you probably didn't make the right one.
End of day, we all know that its just a game. Make it fun for you, the other parents and especially the kids.
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mtumlin
32 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2011 : 15:48:22
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How many parents out there think they know more than their high school coaches? We witnessed a group of parents that sat in the stands and complained that the coaches didn’t know what the heck they were doing this past school year. They thought that they were much more qualified to make the decisions on whom should have started, who should have played and when and what situation may have warranted a better choice in the field than the one that was executed.
This isn't new to youth baseball. Parent involvement in their kids sports teams has been a hot topic on message boards forever. But before you newer parents of high school players become vocal, just realize the following...
Have you spent time with the players three or more hours a day, 6 days a week, for five months every season? Because the coaches have. That’s over 360 hours of observation and analysis of each player. They have situational practices, inter-squad scrimmages and countless hours of time in the cage to help them decide who the better players are.
Have you even seen your own kid play that much? If so, where and what was the level of competition? How much time have you spent in the cage with your own son and what credentials do you have to critique his hitting mechanics? How many ground balls or fly balls have you hit him this week? Can you teach him the proper way to field a ground ball? When do you use the back hand? Do you know the different ways to throw a double play ball to second, based on how far away from the bag the ball is hit? Have you worked with him on that for countless hours each week?
Do you work with him on how to react to the hundreds of situations that occur when runners are on base? Do you work on hitting the cut-offs everyday? How about the double cut? Do you watch him run the bases and work with him on that? At what point in the pitchers delivery should a base runner take that first step towards a steal?
How many times each week do you work on bunting with your son? When do you bunt towards third base and when should you bunt down first. Do you teach him the push bunt? When would you ever use that? Do you work with him on hit and run plays, going opposite field on off-speed, or hitting to the right side with a runner on third with one out or less?
Do you work with your son’s on covering first base if he is a pitcher? How about bunt coverage? Do you parents ever talk to your sons about the upcoming game and their hitters and what they have done in their past at bats? Are you discussing what your son should be thinking before each pitch? How about how to hit based on the count? What might the other team attempt?
Do you help him visualize situations like how to cover a steal, hit and run or bunt? Where do they need to be in each situation? Did your family dinner time conversations talk about what your MIF son should do if there is a runner on first, ball is hit back to the pitcher, and the ball is fielded and an errant throw is made to second?
Do you do any of this for three hours a day, 6 days a week? If you don't, then HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW if your son can adequately handle all of the skills well enough to earn a starting position? If you do, then you don’t have a job…because that’s exactly what coaching a team is…a full time job!
And much like in your own job, mistakes will be made, It's a crazy, unpredictable game...There will be mistakes...but not on purpose. There’s not a coach alive that wants to maliciously make it a horrible experience for your son. Oh yes, he will be tough on your son, maybe even in his face...screaming...giving him a little verbal beat down...because he wants to make him tougher...We have seen that strategy work many times...Hey, if your son can’t handle a little tough talk, how the heck is he ever going to handle a tough game situation? Heck, forget about baseball for a second...how will he handle a game of LIFE situation? Listen, good coaches take a statement like “there’s no crying in baseball” very seriously.
As I sit in some stands, I hear more often than not how horrible the coaches are. These are usually the parents whose sons are NOT playing. As if the kids that are playing are given some special privilege that somehow, some way their kid didn’t get. Parents, did you ever think that maybe the players that start have proven time and time again in practice that they deserve to be on the field? OK, we get it. Sometimes a starter doesn’t always deliver in a game…but maybe he impresses them so much in practice that they are pinning their hopes that he will someday break out and therefore, give him a few more chances that our armchair observations can’t see. In baseball, as it has been for the past 125 years, only 9 play on a team and if it is a close game, only 9 will play period.
Be a good sport...support your team...set an example for your own children and please, have respect for the other parents that are in the stands enjoying their sons season. Sorry for the tough talk folks...High school and college ball isn’t tee ball where everyone plays and the losers get a trophy.
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12uCoach
357 Posts |
Posted - 04/21/2011 : 13:16:54
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You're kidding right? I wouldn't let most High School coaches near my 10U team, and I was with a High School program for 10 years. Your automatic respect for HS coaches is appalling to me, and I stand by that statement. Do not trust the HS to do what is in the best interest of the player, they will do what is in the best interest of the program.
Now, from past posts people will respond with how wrong I am, and how their coach is a Saint. Sorry, you are wrong. |
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4bagger
131 Posts |
Posted - 04/21/2011 : 14:24:52
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I happen to agree with the general concept of your post-that the coaches spend vastly more time on the game and with the players than the parents do so they are in line to make better decisions.
But I completely disagree with your assertion that "giving a little verbal beatdown" is a good thing.
Being tough on a kid to get the best out of him does not mean you have to belittle him, ridicule him, verbally beat him down, insult him, etc. I have coached youth sports for over 25 years in age groups from 4 years old to college and it has never worked to verbally abuse an athlete to get better performance. The vast majority of the time it works opposite. I see coaches in all age groups on the fields around Georgia claiming they are toughening up the kids or doing whats best for them or helping them become men by insulting them and calling them names and you can see by the kids reactions and how they continue to play that it does them no good.
Tough workouts, reality checks rationally explained, errors pointed out and corrected by constant repetition, cheering when weaknesses stop being weaknesses and letting the players know you expect excellence and will provide excellence is how you mold athletes.
Most of these "verbal beatdown" coaches only made it as high as high school ball or never even got that far, they are dads devoting their time to help out, and what they don't understand is that they may not have gone as far as they wanted with athletics because they also had a verbally abusive coach and that guy ruined sports for them. But it's all they know and as they try to make their mark they are ruining it for another kid.
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