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rippit
667 Posts |
 Posted - 07/22/2012 : 20:05:46
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Heard of 2 tryouts this weekend where the top player is about to be turned down due to his parents. One 10u. One 11u. Wow.
Parents: wise up. If you think your player is good/great, then SHUT IT!!! Learn some control and if you've already earned the rep then go repent for your kid's sake. I'm just sayin... |
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SSBuckeye
575 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2012 : 21:43:32
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| Truer words have never been spoken. |
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touchemall
145 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 00:17:39
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| What did the parents do? You put it out there so lets hear what they did so others will avoid the same mistake. I hate seeing kids get black listed because of parents. Tell the parents your kid can play but here are the rules which you as a parent will need to follow. |
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Card6
152 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 08:47:21
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| Saw Cobb Counties finest ecourt parent out of a park. They dont realize what that have done to their own kid. You just black ball your own kid from playing on most of all the good teams in ATL. Plus most parks keep up with what parents dont pay and they will be on that list too. |
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4bagger
131 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 09:39:45
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Here's how to lose an offer for your kid:
1. Coach the kid during evaluations. You are demonstrating you can't let go and let the coaches coach.
2. When your kid hits a flyball during evaluations and you scream "Yeah, Thats normal. Get out here. Show them how well you hit from the other side of the plate son."
3. Critique how the coach is doing or how he is running the evals.
4. Interrupt the coach during evals to explain why your son is having an off day.
5. Excessive cheering or any citicism from the stands.
Coaches are looking for technique and mechanics. If your kid swings and misses it's no big deal, his mechanics are what is being looked at, not how far he hits the ball. Kids missing the ball can be having a rare bad day and kids crushing the ball can be having a rare good day.
Fielding mechanics, fly ball mechanics, running mechanics can all be seen by the coach regardless of the outcome. We are picking kids we can coach and work with.
Baseball IQ is much more important than missing two pitches or letting a grounder go between the legs.
If you're a parent in the stands getting overly anxious or creating a scene or overshadowing the coach that tells me you are going to be bad news all season and I'll take someone else.
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bball2000
39 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 18:18:36
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| How humiliating for a kid to have a parent escorted out. As a parent, I leave my child to tryout on his own. I watch quietly to see how he interacts with the coaches and players. It is up to the coach to determine the kids ability and if he will fit his program. Then it is up to the parent to decide to play. |
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 20:53:47
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quote:
Originally posted by touchemall
What did the parents do? You put it out there so lets hear what they did so others will avoid the same mistake. I hate seeing kids get black listed because of parents. Tell the parents your kid can play but here are the rules which you as a parent will need to follow.
Email-would LOVE to copy and paste it here-criticizing the entire tryout. "this is how you plan to field a team" and "you can't possibly even remember who my son even was". And that's just 2 of the comments. "too many kids"-hey sweetie, that's a good thing since I'm sure you want your sweetie playing with the best available. Serious jerk alarm on this chick. |
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Canton Chargers
885 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 09:17:20
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Coaches will do and pick who they choose to, for whatever reasons they have. Sometimes they are looking for certain positions, sometimes they are looking for athletes, sometimes they are clueless, sometimes they run a great tryout, sometikes they don't. If they are clueless, at least they are trying and are probably just trying to help their kids get an opportunity that they may not have without dad being the coach. Who cares!!! They are just trying to be good dads. One thing is for sure, the seasoned coaches are looking at mechanics and players that make their team better than the last season and are NEVER looking for the parents input. There are so many teams at so many programs and no need to jump to conclusions about the coaches and their thoughts about your kids. If they are having a bad day at tryout, they probably wont make the team unless the coach has history about the kid and knows his abilities. If a coach approaches you, then say nice things and play the game yourself by offering compliments about the program and tryout (regardless of accepting a spot or not). If he doesn't approach you, stay as far away as possible and wait for a call and/ or move on to the next tryout. Too many teams and too small of a baseball community to run your mouth as it will only hurt your kids in the end.
Most of us are very proud and opinionated about our kids. Everyone gets that!! Just be smart and find what is right for your kid and family. Too many teams and leagues to embarass your kid because of your opinions of them. They will all play ball somewhere if you really want them to. May not be the team you or your son wanted to play for, but can still have fun playing somewhere if you really want to.
Coaches that want to coach in the future will always coach, plain and simple. If you don't like them for whatever reasons, just move on to one you like without bad mouthing the last. It will only help you in the future, I promise. Your kids may become a creme of the crop player in their later years if they are not now and that same coach may be the coach of the program that best fits for your family and child. If you bad mouthed him in the past, what do you think your chances of making that team will be in the future.
This goes for all sports other than individual ones like wrestling.
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touchemall
145 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 12:01:40
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WHEW. It wasn't me. that was my concern. ha
Thanks for sharing. Is there any harm in trying to do as many try-outs as possible? Does word get around that so and so is trying out for 7 or so different teams? Do coaches frown upon that? |
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Canton Chargers
885 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 12:21:08
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| I don't as a coach and actually encourage it. Of course I want my core to stay, but this it is a great learning experience for the kids in a lot of ways. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 12:50:13
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Not to stereotype or anything, but in my experience the mom's seem to be the bigger pot stirrers and potential troublemakers... Some dads can be a little much, but they got nothing on mamma bear...
I personally like closed tryouts if you can manage it - let the kid do his job and keep his folks out of his head... |
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SoxIn7
42 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 13:45:33
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As far as trying out, I would agree that as many try-outs as possible is a good thing. As far as when you get offers, be truthful in your response to the coach. If you have 2 more tryouts, tell them. If you have other offers, it is ok to tell them that you will give them an answer in a reasonable amount of time.
And to an earlier comment regarding coaching your kid during tryouts, I would absolutely keep quiet. I always look at it as my opportunity to interview the coaches as much as it is an opportunity for them to view my child.
My interview is strictly by observation...do they use the time to just look at the kids or do they also use it as a time to coach? Depending on if it is a private workout, I am usually impressed by the ones who very quickly identify the little flaws in my son's mechanics and look to correct them. If they pick up on it quickly and use it as a time to also teach, that is my kind of coach. |
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b@s3b@11
23 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 22:29:45
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quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
I personally like closed tryouts if you can manage it - let the kid do his job and keep his folks out of his head...
Some parents are completely clueless about how they hinder their kid's performance by just being there. |
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743
215 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2012 : 14:10:38
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quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
I personally like closed tryouts if you can manage it - let the kid do his job and keep his folks out of his head...
Yeah closed tryouts because the parents wont be at the games? If you are going to have a problem at tryouts it wont get any better during games. I want to see what a coach does during a tryout? Maybe I don't like the way he interacts or talks to players. Maybe he doesn't have a clue and is hiding something about his coaching skills. I would never play for a coach that held a closed tryout. Sorry but true. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2012 : 16:50:35
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quote:
Originally posted by 743
quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
I personally like closed tryouts if you can manage it - let the kid do his job and keep his folks out of his head...
Yeah closed tryouts because the parents wont be at the games? If you are going to have a problem at tryouts it wont get any better during games. I want to see what a coach does during a tryout? Maybe I don't like the way he interacts or talks to players. Maybe he doesn't have a clue and is hiding something about his coaching skills. I would never play for a coach that held a closed tryout. Sorry but true.
See 4bagger's post - refer to #1, 3,4 and 5..
At the end of the day, the tryout is to evaluate the players, not entertain the parents. I can let go and let the kid shine. If I've done my proper homework on the team and the coach prior, the only thing I am looking at is the coaches demeanor because I've asked enough questions to gauge whether he knows his stuff or not. As far as his demeanor, my son will tell me if the guy is a horses behind when we get into the car on the way home - he's gotta play for the man, not me. |
Edited by - ramman999 on 07/25/2012 17:02:42 |
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HITANDRUN
436 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 16:26:49
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| You are one that has done your homework but most parents have not watched coaches coach more than a couple of games. Sometimes you can be fooled I have seen it more than once. Coach gets in a game and is completely different than he was at a tryout. Anyone can fool a kid into thinking they are the greatest coach around until his real personality shows up. After the Penn state thing I wouldn't leave my kid with anyone even a relative. If a parent can't sit at tryouts and keep his mouth shut as a coach I would like to know that so I can make an easy decision ahead of time. Just curious what kind of questions you would ask to gauge whether a coach knows his stuff or not? Have you loved every coach you have played for up until this season? |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 17:56:53
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For me, the questions to weed out the generalities - ie. what is "development" to him? Are they conducting "open" tryouts, yet have 4 players on the team with dads for coaches. I want to know costs, I want to know what baseball value I get for my money - professional instruction?, field time, etc. I want to know the guy is organized. I ask him about his team, his feelings on "stats" or lineup or positions - I look at his previous rosters and see what kind of movement there is - if I think there is a fit on paper, I'll let my son try out - if not, then I will say thanks but no thanks and move on..You are absolutely right about the on best behavior comment - I've seen that far too often, which is why I'll ask around - I may not have been in the area long, but I have a lot of local resources to pull from, not to mention I've had a chance to see/ coach against some of these teams in the past, at SNIT's, in cooperstown, at Disney, you name. I also am realistic about my sons ability - could he "make" a squad, vs could he be a good contributor on a squad..
As a coach, I would love closed tryouts - as a parent, I am with you. I went to a workout this weekend, sat quiet and watched/observed both my player, the other players on the field as well as the parents in the crowd.
And to answer your question, no - I have not loved every coach we've played for (he's played for 4 total including when he played for me, and I didn't love me either) But we have always taken some things away; there were some great traits from each, and some bad ones too..
I also have a daughter in HS that played travel softball - that REALLY opened my eyes to the drama that is travel ball! LOL |
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 19:34:33
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| Ram: trying to keep this short. those are all good questions. However, if you have an organization with several hundred kids trying out for 7-8 different age groups, and 60ish in each age group, how do you expect the coach to have 60 different conversations with the parents or is a short q&a before or after tryout in a group setting okay? |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 05:29:13
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| Honestly, those are not the organizations I am looking at/for. In my opinion, I'd rather go somewhere a little more low key. It's sort of like picking churches in that regard- there are the mega churches and the community ones- Same messages, different presentation. |
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HITANDRUN
436 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 07:40:44
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| Travel Softball as bad as baseball? I have heard it was? just glad no daughters to have to do that with. |
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bbmom2
119 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 07:32:20
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quote:
Originally posted by 2seam
Remember that tryouts are not only to measure the athletic abilities of players, it is also to evaluate the personality fit. Some parents are also evaluating the coaches on their leadership abilities so lead by example, communicate effectively and set expectations.
If you are a parent NOT evaluating the coach during tryouts (and hopefully on a short list to observe prior in action during actual games if possible) then as a parent, you aren't doing your job. A tryout is just as much for the player to tryout the coaches and other players as it is for the coach to tryout the player. |
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spike
41 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 11:59:18
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| So if the parents evaluation of the coach fails in high school you are going to knock the kid out of playing, same in college since mom dont agree with coach no scholarship? REALLY??? Life is not fair and you may eventually have to actually work for someone you dont approve of. I think its good for a kid to be in a less than perfect situation builds character. If you cant teach kids life lessons before 12 statistics show they become very difficult to reach. Give the kid some credit they are smarter then we think. alot better to learn now then when they are of age-penalties are alot stiffer then. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 12:58:33
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quote:
Originally posted by spike
So if the parents evaluation of the coach fails in high school you are going to knock the kid out of playing, same in college since mom dont agree with coach no scholarship? REALLY??? Life is not fair and you may eventually have to actually work for someone you dont approve of. I think its good for a kid to be in a less than perfect situation builds character. If you cant teach kids life lessons before 12 statistics show they become very difficult to reach. Give the kid some credit they are smarter then we think. alot better to learn now then when they are of age-penalties are alot stiffer then.
Pretty crazy post.
In H.S., you don't have 15 different coaches from which YOU can choose. You're pretty much stuck with the one and you either deal with him, move, or don't play.
To state that you should select a less than desirable coach today to prepare you for that possible eventuality is ridiculous. I may end up in a nursing home someday, but I don't want to move there now just to learn that "life lesson".
Believe me, even with the best of coaches and teams, he will have to deal with situations that are less than desirable. NOW is the time to put them in the best possible position to learn, grow and develop. To that point, yes, you SHOULD look out for what's best for your kid and in his and your family's best interest. This means that "interviewing" coaches to find the best fit is absolutely in bounds.
When there are bumps in the road with coaches, good and bad, you absolutely point out that life isn't fair and you take advantage of the lesson to be taught at that time. But to knowingly place your son in a bad situation because he "might" have a poor H.S. coach in the future . . . . I really think your perspective is a bit warped on this. |
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LoveTheGame5
191 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 14:13:17
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quote:
Originally posted by spike
So if the parents evaluation of the coach fails in high school you are going to knock the kid out of playing, same in college since mom dont agree with coach no scholarship? REALLY??? Life is not fair and you may eventually have to actually work for someone you dont approve of. I think its good for a kid to be in a less than perfect situation builds character. If you cant teach kids life lessons before 12 statistics show they become very difficult to reach. Give the kid some credit they are smarter then we think. alot better to learn now then when they are of age-penalties are alot stiffer then.
Interesting take... "Dealing" with what is/is not fair in high school or college is MUCH different than while choosing a coach in travel ball. As a parent - you want someone that can connect with your child, make them believe in themselves and TEACH them all the things necessary to become not just a better baseball player - but a better young adult. These are impressionable years and kids that don't connect on some level with a coach will not learn. The greatest compliment we can give anyone is simple... I trust you with my child. This does not mean we need to baby them or bully them - every kid responds differently. The coach that knows how to learn to communicate with the majority of his players... You probably see a good ball club. |
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spike
41 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 14:48:01
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| LovetheGame ... Very well said I totaally agree.No one is going to put thier kid in a bad situation to prepare them for high school. The point i evidently was not clear on these parents today in travel baseball are out of hand. Nothing wrong with putting your child in best scenario but to call coaches weakly throughout the entire year, email about not getting to play desired posistions I mean be honest you see it every weekend. My father had a rule if I got into trouble at school it didnt matter if it was my fault or what consiquences were the same. While your there you must adjust adjust and play by thier rules they are in charge and you have to work through it. You see kids every weekend disgusted by umpire call or something coach says and they emotionally explode. If umpire calls bad pitch make an adjustment and hit it the best you can. In my opinion Johnny gets that from what hes heard at home. I think parents should sit in outfield during tryouts and if the coach is interested he will come to you after you get your offer if you have questions contact them but at these tryouts you could film parents and make it a reality show. Most parents would be shocked how well thier kid does when they are not around. |
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dad4kids
109 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 17:40:13
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I think the common thread behind all this is TRUST, particularly at the younger ages. Coaches have a tremendous amount of responsibility at 9-12 in the impression they make on these kids and their impact on how much they love the game. Some will drive the joy out of them without any effort to find what works best for the player and rationalize it as "that's how they will be treated in HS or college." Guess what? There's light years of difference in maturity and what they can handle in HS vs. ages 9 or 10. If you plan to treat my 9 year old like an 18 year old, then I don't want you coaching my kid and you probably shouldn't be coaching anyone else's either.
There are parents who are out of control, sure. But many times problems develop because the necessary element of trust in the coach is missing. Some coaches grow frustrated with parental "interference" but often that is the result of a coach who has his own agenda that is divorced from the best interests of the players. In those situations, those coaches haven't earned the blind trust they are insisting on and parents rightfully should have a problem. As someone posted in a related thread on here, just because your shirt says "coach" doesn't mean mine no longer says "parent." |
Edited by - dad4kids on 08/04/2012 17:52:49 |
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PARENTS
