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 STOP YELLING AT YOUR KID!
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 07/17/2017 :  11:27:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I was at a tourney this weekend that had 7u-14u teams playing and the amount of parental yelling was absurd, especially in the younger age groups!

Don't you think your kid is trying to throw strikes?

Don't you think your kid is trying to get on base?

Don't you think your kid knows he just booted the ball?

Would it be helpful or encouraging to you if your boss screamed at you across the office that you screwed up a report, or a customer account, or your figures?

What is wrong with some parents? Even at 14u this is a GAME people! get a grip on yourself!

Pop Fisher

9 Posts

Posted - 07/17/2017 :  12:35:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Amen.
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bbsis

42 Posts

Posted - 07/17/2017 :  13:20:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
awful at any age but these same parents will probably be doing the same thing at 16U and 17U. i think it is even more humiliating at that age -- by 16 parents should have their kid on a team where they trust the coach to instruct the kid about what he has done wrong. it's exacerbated when the parent goes over to the fence to yell at the kid during the game. i agree -- get a grip!
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aj94

182 Posts

Posted - 07/17/2017 :  13:31:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

I was at a tourney this weekend that had 7u-14u teams playing and the amount of parental yelling was absurd, especially in the younger age groups!

Don't you think your kid is trying to throw strikes?

Don't you think your kid is trying to get on base?

Don't you think your kid knows he just booted the ball?

Would it be helpful or encouraging to you if your boss screamed at you across the office that you screwed up a report, or a customer account, or your figures?

What is wrong with some parents? Even at 14u this is a GAME people! get a grip on yourself!



do you not have to "yell" in order for your kid to hear what you are trying to tell him due to the distance involved?
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 07/17/2017 :  13:52:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
^^^^^ yep and hey, guess what? Neither colleges nor the MLB are scouting any pre-puberty kids so lay off lest you ruin your kid's love of the game.
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aj94

182 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  08:02:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

^^^^^ yep and hey, guess what? Neither colleges nor the MLB are scouting any pre-puberty kids so lay off lest you ruin your kid's love of the game.



And give every one of them a trophy too huh? And let me guess let them play lacrosse or soccer instead of football and just let them have fun?
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  08:17:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aj94

quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

I was at a tourney this weekend that had 7u-14u teams playing and the amount of parental yelling was absurd, especially in the younger age groups!

Don't you think your kid is trying to throw strikes?

Don't you think your kid is trying to get on base?

Don't you think your kid knows he just booted the ball?

Would it be helpful or encouraging to you if your boss screamed at you across the office that you screwed up a report, or a customer account, or your figures?

What is wrong with some parents? Even at 14u this is a GAME people! get a grip on yourself!



do you not have to "yell" in order for your kid to hear what you are trying to tell him due to the distance involved?



I do hope you are joking, but in case you aren't, parents shouldn't be coaching while their kid is on the field and they are in the spectator area.
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  10:27:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Absolutely not, AJ, no trophies for everyone. Only those who earn the big win should get a trophy. But if anyone is doing any yelling it should be the coach, not Mom or Dad clinging to the fence outscreaming the coach with instruction and criticism. If the parents have to give that much instruction find a new coach! As the boys age that behavior can lose an otherwise deserving kid a spot on a top team because it's simply not tolerated by the coaching staffs of those teams. Why not teach the boys that at a young age? This starts at around 12 where parents are expected to sit down and shut up. Most top teams will let you know at the beginning of the season that even one such outburst can cost your son his spot. I don't know about football but in baseball, respect for all parties especially confidence in the coach's ability to instruct the boys, without the parent's input is an expectation. Those who are allowed to do so will usually perform, hopefully to please said coach,teammates and hopefully himself, not his parents. If you have to scream at your 10 or 11 year old, or humiliate him in front of his team, to get his head in the game then maybe baseball is not the sport for him. And we've all seen alot of very skilled younger kids kind of goof off, not really seem that into it, despite obvious talent. It's just been my experience watching those kids progress, that parents who rip those kids more often than not make them just give up for good as they approach their teens (since they never really were as into it as Mom and Dad despite skill). Good luck forcing a 15 yr old to play, or a coach to take him, if he's not that into it. It's unfortunate where a couple more years with great coaching just might have inspired him to stay in the game. Just my opinion of course.

Edited by - Crazyforbball on 07/18/2017 10:43:36
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  10:56:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I was at a 15u game with a friend who has a player in college as well as 15u. One of the dads was going nuts yelling from the stands about bad calls and how his kid should move to the left...etc. I turned to my friend and asked "At what age does that crap stop?", he said "For some parents, it never stops, I still see it in college."...I just shook my head in disgust.

I'm of the opinion that if a kid doesn't know to move to the left, and he gets burned, then that's on him. He won't learn if he's being told at all times, and if he can't/won't learn then he shouldn't be out there.
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aj94

182 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  12:34:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

Absolutely not, AJ, no trophies for everyone. Only those who earn the big win should get a trophy. But if anyone is doing any yelling it should be the coach, not Mom or Dad clinging to the fence outscreaming the coach with instruction and criticism. If the parents have to give that much instruction find a new coach! As the boys age that behavior can lose an otherwise deserving kid a spot on a top team because it's simply not tolerated by the coaching staffs of those teams. Why not teach the boys that at a young age? This starts at around 12 where parents are expected to sit down and shut up. Most top teams will let you know at the beginning of the season that even one such outburst can cost your son his spot. I don't know about football but in baseball, respect for all parties especially confidence in the coach's ability to instruct the boys, without the parent's input is an expectation. Those who are allowed to do so will usually perform, hopefully to please said coach,teammates and hopefully himself, not his parents. If you have to scream at your 10 or 11 year old, or humiliate him in front of his team, to get his head in the game then maybe baseball is not the sport for him. And we've all seen alot of very skilled younger kids kind of goof off, not really seem that into it, despite obvious talent. It's just been my experience watching those kids progress, that parents who rip those kids more often than not make them just give up for good as they approach their teens (since they never really were as into it as Mom and Dad despite skill). Good luck forcing a 15 yr old to play, or a coach to take him, if he's not that into it. It's unfortunate where a couple more years with great coaching just might have inspired him to stay in the game. Just my opinion of course.



I can't tell anyone how to raise their kid, if they paid their money they are entitled to talk to their child. Same way when they get to HS and HS age (and some youth) people are cheering and jeering at them.

I yell at my son as need be and he led team all hitting categories but to each his own, my son is no cream puff so he does not take it personal.
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  13:01:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I get what you're saying AJ, depends on the kid. However, not all of them need to be yelled at to get them to perform...those that don't need it are not necessarily "cream puffs." I am curious though...his high school coaches were ok with you yelling instructions from the fence because you paid for it? I'm not being sarcastic I truly am curious. Cheering and jeering from the crowd is one thing, we were talking about parents who scream at, give instructions, and yell at, their player while game is in progress, not after, before, or at home, but during the game. And I agree with CaCo3....if he needs to move left, it's the coach's job to tell him to move left, etc., or figure it out on his own. After a few missed balls he should be able to adjust. They do that at 11. The worst thing I see is when the coach is giving a sign and the parent is screaming a separate instruction from the fence and kid's head is on a swivel stick...looking at coach, looking at Dad...who should I listen to. Big kids can tune it out but tough for littler ones having to "pick" who to listen to while actually on the field or at the plate!

Edited by - Crazyforbball on 07/18/2017 15:32:43
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in_the_know

985 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  14:06:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aj94I yell at my son as need be and he led team all hitting categories but to each his own, my son is no cream puff so he does not take it personal.



Well it's a dang good thing you were there to yell at him. I'm sure it had everything to do with his success.

As the saying goes, there's one in every room. If you walk in the room and can't find the one, it's you....
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tellit

97 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  14:42:07  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aj94

quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

Absolutely not, AJ, no trophies for everyone. Only those who earn the big win should get a trophy. But if anyone is doing any yelling it should be the coach, not Mom or Dad clinging to the fence outscreaming the coach with instruction and criticism. If the parents have to give that much instruction find a new coach! As the boys age that behavior can lose an otherwise deserving kid a spot on a top team because it's simply not tolerated by the coaching staffs of those teams. Why not teach the boys that at a young age? This starts at around 12 where parents are expected to sit down and shut up. Most top teams will let you know at the beginning of the season that even one such outburst can cost your son his spot. I don't know about football but in baseball, respect for all parties especially confidence in the coach's ability to instruct the boys, without the parent's input is an expectation. Those who are allowed to do so will usually perform, hopefully to please said coach,teammates and hopefully himself, not his parents. If you have to scream at your 10 or 11 year old, or humiliate him in front of his team, to get his head in the game then maybe baseball is not the sport for him. And we've all seen alot of very skilled younger kids kind of goof off, not really seem that into it, despite obvious talent. It's just been my experience watching those kids progress, that parents who rip those kids more often than not make them just give up for good as they approach their teens (since they never really were as into it as Mom and Dad despite skill). Good luck forcing a 15 yr old to play, or a coach to take him, if he's not that into it. It's unfortunate where a couple more years with great coaching just might have inspired him to stay in the game. Just my opinion of course.



I can't tell anyone how to raise their kid, if they paid their money they are entitled to talk to their child. Same way when they get to HS and HS age (and some youth) people are cheering and jeering at them.

I yell at my son as need be and he led team all hitting categories but to each his own, my son is no cream puff so he does not take it personal.


Now we know why you hate paid coaches (based on your other comments on the subject of "free tryouts". No real coach would let you act the way you admit to acting.
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  14:52:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aj94

quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

Absolutely not, AJ, no trophies for everyone. Only those who earn the big win should get a trophy. But if anyone is doing any yelling it should be the coach, not Mom or Dad clinging to the fence outscreaming the coach with instruction and criticism. If the parents have to give that much instruction find a new coach! As the boys age that behavior can lose an otherwise deserving kid a spot on a top team because it's simply not tolerated by the coaching staffs of those teams. Why not teach the boys that at a young age? This starts at around 12 where parents are expected to sit down and shut up. Most top teams will let you know at the beginning of the season that even one such outburst can cost your son his spot. I don't know about football but in baseball, respect for all parties especially confidence in the coach's ability to instruct the boys, without the parent's input is an expectation. Those who are allowed to do so will usually perform, hopefully to please said coach,teammates and hopefully himself, not his parents. If you have to scream at your 10 or 11 year old, or humiliate him in front of his team, to get his head in the game then maybe baseball is not the sport for him. And we've all seen alot of very skilled younger kids kind of goof off, not really seem that into it, despite obvious talent. It's just been my experience watching those kids progress, that parents who rip those kids more often than not make them just give up for good as they approach their teens (since they never really were as into it as Mom and Dad despite skill). Good luck forcing a 15 yr old to play, or a coach to take him, if he's not that into it. It's unfortunate where a couple more years with great coaching just might have inspired him to stay in the game. Just my opinion of course.



I can't tell anyone how to raise their kid, if they paid their money they are entitled to talk to their child. Same way when they get to HS and HS age (and some youth) people are cheering and jeering at them.

I yell at my son as need be and he led team all hitting categories but to each his own, my son is no cream puff so he does not take it personal.


You did it, I'm speechless.
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dad4kids

109 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  16:20:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Is it ok to yell at your kid to stop picking his nose or playing candy crush during the game?

Asking for a friend.
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Punishers

688 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  20:45:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When did baseball become golf? Yelling and Cheering loudly is about the same to me. Happens in every competitive major sport. They are all spectator sports. You can always tell the parents who were never competitive athletes. It's a different mindset of those who were.

Edited by - Punishers on 07/18/2017 21:17:33
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brball

615 Posts

Posted - 07/18/2017 :  22:58:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Punishers

When did baseball become golf? Yelling and Cheering loudly is about the same to me. Happens in every competitive major sport. They are all spectator sports. You can always tell the parents who were never competitive athletes. It's a different mindset of those who were.



How so? Please elaborate as I was a competitive athlete and I don't yell at my sons games! However, I do get loud when the team is on a roll. I support the team, not just my son!
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  07:29:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Again, no one is disputing yelling and cheering at games, that's what everyone does at baseball games obviously. Rather, it's about individual parents outscreaming the coach with individual critcism and instruction to their player only.

Edited by - Crazyforbball on 07/19/2017 08:06:54
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bama21

278 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  08:18:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I don't see anything wrong with yelling at YOUR kid, but of course there are those that will take it too far. I yell at my son, not giving instructions, but to refocus him after he swings at a bad pitch, I will say something like "Come on". And yes, when he hears my voice, it makes a difference. Why, because I know him better than anyone, including his coaches, and he knows that. I've seen kids that couldn't handle yelling from the parent, or for that matter, the coach, they just break down. My son doesn't have a problem with it and when it's just him and I, he yells back and I don't have a problem with that either. Some people would probably find offense in that, but that's our relationship and it's no one else's business.
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BamaDad

188 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  09:01:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is my situation as well. I only "yell" at my son at the plate. It is not to instruct him and especially not to embarrass him. It is to remind him that he knows the proper mechanics needed to be successful at the plate. Sometimes, he will ignore me in defiance and typically has a weak at-bat. However, when he does listen and applies what he has been taught, he has a quality at-bat. I let the coaches handle him completely on defense.
quote:
Originally posted by bama21

I don't see anything wrong with yelling at YOUR kid, but of course there are those that will take it too far. I yell at my son, not giving instructions, but to refocus him after he swings at a bad pitch, I will say something like "Come on". And yes, when he hears my voice, it makes a difference. Why, because I know him better than anyone, including his coaches, and he knows that. I've seen kids that couldn't handle yelling from the parent, or for that matter, the coach, they just break down. My son doesn't have a problem with it and when it's just him and I, he yells back and I don't have a problem with that either. Some people would probably find offense in that, but that's our relationship and it's no one else's business.


Edited by - BamaDad on 07/19/2017 09:04:34
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Punishers

688 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  09:12:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

Again, no one is disputing yelling and cheering at games, that's what everyone does at baseball games obviously. Rather, it's about individual parents outscreaming the coach with individual critcism and instruction to their player only.



To me it depends if the coach is sitting there with his thumb up his arse letting the kids fail, failing to make changes and adapt (dinosaur mode). There are some incompetent coaches out there who just sit on a bucket with a mouth full of seed shells like a mute. I can understand then, a parent giving instruction when the coach doesn't.

Never yell to embarrass either. That will not help.

Doesn't matter. The kid will do what they want anyway at that time.

Edited by - Punishers on 07/19/2017 09:25:39
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mikepayne

173 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  09:42:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Almost speechless as well on this one. All I can say is the best coaches out there, that I have seen (and I have seen more than most) would shut a parent down from coaching from the stands real quick. If you think you are helping, you are not. The Mike Matheny letter should be required reading for parents. "I let the coach handle him completely defense", do you hear yourself?

It is called the Matheny manifesto, google it.

Edited by - mikepayne on 07/19/2017 12:20:13
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  09:47:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
And don't you guys think your kid KNOWS he just swung at crap? Do you think he needs to hear it from you? I was a competitive athlete and I don't put my kid with coaches that sit on a bucket with a mouth full of seeds. I do not yell at my kid, I do not stand behind my kid in the cage, and I do not think I could do it better.

Let it GO people! You would be amazed how many kids think that what they do on the baseball field affects how their parents feel about them, and when you yell over a mistake it reinforces that. You have hired coaches that are suppose to know what your kid needs to do in their sport but it is THEIR sport, not yours. You are a fan, not a coach when you are in the stands. Not yelling at my kid has nothing to do with hurting his feelings, I don't yell at my kid because at this moment in time he is more an expert on the subject than I am. If you can't get in the box, or on the field, and do it better then shut up! You aren't helping!
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oldschool22

50 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  10:30:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am one who is "guilty" of yelling at my son during games on occasion. I have poured in thousands of hours of one-on-one time on practice fields and my son is highly advanced as a result. He is a smaller player and has achieved his standing in the game through his fundamental soundness and attention to details.

I have an awesome relationship with my boy and he understands that my passionate instruction is an integral part of his development. There have been times where he has lost focus in games and I've been there to remind him of the standard. Never once have I interfered with his coaches. But at the end of the day, I know him better than anyone. He has stated to me his long-term goals and I work with him to achieve them. Once in a while that entails some intense instruction which, from a distance, constitutes yelling. I guess the optics may be bad regardingmparents who yell at their child during games, but there may be underlying reasons not fully understandable to those passing judgment.
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bballman

1432 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  10:32:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by in_the_know

quote:
Originally posted by aj94I yell at my son as need be and he led team all hitting categories but to each his own, my son is no cream puff so he does not take it personal.



Well it's a dang good thing you were there to yell at him. I'm sure it had everything to do with his success.

As the saying goes, there's one in every room. If you walk in the room and can't find the one, it's you....



This ^^^^

At some point, kids need to have it in themselves to make adjustments and play the game the way they were taught. At some point, parents need to let go. If your kid is in HS and still requires you to yell at him to remember what he's supposed to do, that's not a good thing, in my opinion. You are fostering dependence.

And know this, if you are still doing this, everyone is sitting in the stands just cringing. Although, if this is you, you probably don't care, because it's all about you. And whether your kid tells you or not, he is embarrassed. What HS kid wants to be the one with his parent yelling at him all the time? It's humiliating. If you are the one doing this, you'll deny it, but it's true. No one wants to be the kid with "that" dad...
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whits23

596 Posts

Posted - 07/19/2017 :  13:25:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Go yell at them in math class instead...but then again who even understands common core? oh yea the dad in stands dont understand hitting either
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